A Difficult Time

A little over two weeks ago my husband was admitted to the hospital with a mass in his chest.  It turned out to be lung cancer that had wrapped itself around his superior vena cava near the heart.  Overnight my world changed from working on my client projects,making some art  and the usual interactions, to dealing with going back and forth to the hospital, seeing monitors, hearing beeps and bells and learning more than I ever wanted to know about how they work. I wake up almost every day with anxiety not knowing if my husband will survive.  For his type of cancer there is a 10% cure rate.  My mantra is, “He’s already cured.”  I have to get back to the mundane necessities of life, like making a living.  My brain is mush.  One day I left the car door open and the next I forgot to bring my purse.  Will it get easier?

And now for the sermon.  If you read this and are a smoker, QUIT TODAY.  My DH was not a heavy smoker, if fact he denied being a smoker saying that he had smoked for 2 years a long time ago.  He also was in a band back in the day when smoking in clubs and bars was de rigueur.  I since found out that he was a secret smoker, not smoking much, but smoking nevertheless.   And now he is going through so much and has put his loved ones in a state of relentless anguish and anxiety.  Please, please quit.  And if you experience anything that seems not quite right in your body, get it checked out and tell the truth.  Most lung cancers are only caught at stage 3 or 4.  You don’t want to go through this, believe me.


6 Responses to “A Difficult Time”

  1. Dear Madelin,

    Good summary – I’m happy that you posted about all this. And I especially appreciate your heartfelt plea at the end, which I heartily second.

    Hang in there – you are going to come through this. Being a creative person is very helpful in seriously stressful times like these – I’m glad you’ve got that going for you! You are a strong person and you need to take care of yourself, so as to stay strong! – Anne

    • madelincwolf Says:

      Thanks Anne. One of Derek’s friends has already quit smoking. I hope anyone else who reads my post will think about doing that, too.

  2. Hi Madelin,
    I am praying for you both. Don’t give up. Lots of love and hugs.

  3. Hello Madelin,

    I am so sorry to hear of your devastating news. My heart goes out to you along with my prayers. Take care of yourself, my dear, that your husbands condition doesn’t wear you down too. You have my sympathy. Hospitals and doctors are no fun. I hope you have good ones.

    My thoughts are with you,

    • madelincwolf Says:

      Thank you, Elsa, for your thoughts and prayers. I am trying to do the best I can to take care of myself. Friends and family have been great support which helps.

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