Archive for one word

Word, Week 9

Posted in 52 Weeks-52 Words, health care, Musings, The Word with tags , , , , , on February 27, 2013 by madelincwolf

I was all set to post a positive word.  Oh well… This week’s word is DEPRESSION.  I am not talking clinical depression.  I have not gone there yet. I am talking about getting inconclusive test results and needing to see a specialist and probably having more tests. One of my daughters needs a followup test, too.  I’ve had more weepiness when I think that I ought to be getting better grief-wise.  I just feel down.  Can’t I catch a break? Is it all downhill from here?  I sure hope not.

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Word, Week 8

Posted in 52 Weeks-52 Words, Musings, The Word with tags , , , , , on February 20, 2013 by madelincwolf

This week’s word is HOPE.  I tend to use this word a lot. “I hope things are going well;  I hope that my test results are good;  I hope for positive news about my daughter’s test;  I hope that I will be able to afford my studio for a long time; I hope I can fix my computer’s issues so I can edit and save my photos and begin posting them again!”  Hope keeps us going in the face of adversity.  Without hope, I would not have been able to sustain the necessary level of caregiving during my husband’s cancer treatment.  We hope for better futures, for the lives of our children to be better than ours, or at least not worse.  We hope for peace.  We hope that the nations and people of the world will realize that we have to address the threat of climate change now!  We have many hopes, both lofty and mundane.  What are your hopes?  Please leave a comment if you are so inclined.

Word, Week 7

Posted in 52 Weeks-52 Words, Musings, The Word with tags , , , , , on February 13, 2013 by madelincwolf

The weeks of this year are really flying by.  I am always amazed at how fast time does pass.  It was a tough week.  Tomorrow I will have another procedure and I am not looking forward to it.  But to the task at hand… a word.  This week’s word is ACCEPTANCE which is something that I practice almost every day.  I am slowly realizing that I need to accept what life has given me and move on, grow and remember that nothing is permanent.  A foul mood, happiness, sorrow, wealth, poverty, health, illness; everything that we know, have and do can change in an instant.  Choosing to change our perspective is another matter as it requires an active commitment.  I can choose to wallow in self pity or I can make art.  I can make art about wallowing in self pity, or I can make art that makes me happy and touches my heart with color and light.  At this point in time they are equally compelling.  I accept that I am an artist.  I accept that everything takes time and sometimes it seems like forever.  I also accept compliments which has taken me all my life to be comfortable with.  Now, I smile and say, “Thank you!”  No more negative, self-deprecating remarks allowed.  And now, I am accepting the fact that sleep is necessary and will come if I read long enough.  So, I bid you adieu.

 

 

Word, Week 6

Posted in 52 Weeks-52 Words, Musings, The Word with tags , , , , on February 6, 2013 by madelincwolf

This is more difficult than I thought it would be!  A word a week: what was I thinking?  Well, here goes.  This week’s word is REFLECTION.  When I look in the mirror I can see how much I have aged in the last two years.  Who is that staring back at me?  A cut and color makes it a bit more bearable.  But those bags under my eyes…UGH.  Too many late nights and not enough sleep plus waning collagen, I guess.  February 1 marked the 6 month anniversary of my husband’s death.  That day I had the good fortune to be able to paint and collage for 4 hours. I focused on the day and hour of his death to get that out of my system (maybe). Since then I have been reflecting on our lives together, remembering moments in time.  Trying to hear him speak to me, to see him in my mind’s eye.  It’s very difficult to do and some of the images are not the ones I want to see.  Now I am reflecting on the fact that Valentine’s day is around the corner.  I used to make my own Valentines for my sweetie.  Guess that’s one thing I can leave off my To Do list.

I miss him so much….

Word, Week 5

Posted in 52 Weeks-52 Words, Musings, The Word with tags , , , , , , on January 30, 2013 by madelincwolf

This week has started getting away from me.  I still have a bit of worrying going on.  Still no results; seems that results no longer automatically get faxed to the Dr. from the testing facility.  One needs to sign a release form.  Which I did.  By the time my appointment was over, still nothing; she’ll call me.  UGH!

I digress. Back to the purpose of this post: my word for the week.  This week’s word is GRATITUDE.  In spite of the fact that I have not heard from my Dr., I am grateful that I have one.  I am grateful for my family and friends who were of immense support during my husband’s illness and after he passed away.  They continue to care about me and give me even more support when I am low.  I am grateful for my artistic talent which needs tending and nurturing so that I believe myself an artist. I am grateful for the wonderful people I have “met” online.  I am grateful that I am alive and can see the beauty around me.  An awesome sunset this week made my heart sing.  I am grateful for a free 4 hour painting class my friend is hosting on Friday.  I am so grateful that I am self-employed and can make my own hours so I can take advantage of  things like this!

During the week I tend to forget what word I have picked so this week I am going to put it on a card where I can see it.

If you feel so moved, please share a moment of gratitude with us. I know I would like to hear some feel-good moments!

Word, Week 4

Posted in Musings, The Word with tags , , , , , , , on January 22, 2013 by madelincwolf

How time flies!  This weekly word thing gives me barely any time to concentrate on the word.  TIME  is always a word with which I struggle.  I always include a clock, or watch face in every collage I make. I never have enough time to do everything I want to do.  I make lists and barely get a third of the things accomplished.  A we age time does indeed appear to move more swiftly; it is a proven scientific fact, as if I needed that information to confirm what I already experience!

As I wait for the results of Friday’s test, I wonder even more about my time here and how much I have left.  I spent the last three days cleaning and purging books I can do without and culling the books my husband left behind, not being ready to part with some of his favorites, many of which I have read.  In the grand scheme of things is the time spent on the two-year-old dust that I got rid of important?  Yes.  Did I like having to spend my time doing that instead of making art, or visiting with a friend? Not so much, although it does give me a certain pleasure to see grime gone because it IS so much more noticeable than every-day cleaning.

As I contemplate TIME in all it’s many manifestations and implications in my life, I will stop, smell the flowers, look at a beautiful sunset, visit with my grandkids and try not to worry so much.  After all, worrying is a big waste of time.

Word, Week 3

Posted in health care, Musings, The Word with tags , , , , , , on January 17, 2013 by madelincwolf

Well, week three’s word almost escaped me.  My mind has been focused on other things, like the ultrasound I will have tomorrow afternoon.  Drinking 32 oz. of water beforehand is going to be a challenge!

So, what’s the word? Hmmm, I think that this week’s word is AWARENESS.  I have been getting some Alexander Technique for 2 weeks now, which has to do with proper body alignment and movement.  We do so many things without awareness.  How often do you think about how you sit or stand up?  I didn’t think about it at all.  It’s a natural thing, right?  I still forget to pay attention most of the time.  I feel awkward when I practice the proper way to sit like I am going to fall forward.  I will get the hang of it and someday it will all seem natural and I won’t be aware again!

So the rest of this week, besides the Alexander exercises, I will try to be aware of what is happening around me, what I am feeling, what is happening in the lives of those I love.  Generally, when I walk I am aware of my surroundings, stopping to “smell the flowers” or look at a particularly interesting bit of sidewalk where I see the outline of the state of Indiana or an airplane (visuals would be nice here, huh?).  I drink the blue sky and hear birdsong in my heart.  Even urban ugliness, grime and trash contain bits of beauty if one looks hard enough.

I am sure tomorrow I will be painfully aware of the results of drinking all that water in order to be aware of the results.  Wish me luck!