Archive for the Musings Category

Sunshine Award Answers

Posted in Musings with tags , on October 7, 2013 by madelincwolf

I was nominated for a Sunshine Award and have chosen to just answer the questions posed to me instead of making my own nominations.  I don’t know 10 people who blog that aren’t already nominated.  I suppose we could just go round and round with different questions….  Anyway, here goes.

1.  What pivotal event in your life changed you for the better?  Taking care of my husband as he battled cancer.  I was amazed at how strong I could be for both of us.

2.  Oldies? Opera? Country? Hip Hop? Blues? Jazz? Contemporary Christian? Rat Pack? Polka? Other? (please specify): Rock and Roll, baby with a splash of Blues, especially my husband ‘s version of “Walkin’ to my Baby.”
3.  Spring or Fall?  Spring
4.  What is your favorite comfort food?  Make that plural: My Mom’s Southern Tea biscuits loaded with butter (she obtained the recipe from a restaurant on a road trip somewhere in Kentucky in the late 40’s).
5.  What is your favorite creative activity? Collage making; bookmaking… too hard to choose just one and more wanted to be listed!
6.  Looking back on your life, what era would you like to live over? 1978 – 1981 when I was an art student at UC Berkeley
7.  Barefoot or slippers? Barefoot
8.  How would you describe your home dec style? Eclectic (read: found furniture, clutter bordering on hoarding, art materials everywhere, lots of books, artwork hung gallery-style on multiple walls.)
9.  What evokes emotion in you? Seeing a couple holding hands, a beautiful sunset, a love story, friends who care about me, memories of my sweetie, Doug.
10. What one thing do you want to accomplish before your life is over? Living to a ripe old age making art every day having a love to accompany me on the journey.
So there you have it….and GO!


Posted in Back pain, health care, Musings with tags , , , on October 7, 2013 by madelincwolf

The last couple of days give me hope.  I have been improving in spite of waiting for tests.  I am in less pain and able to walk some without the walker.  I finally got an appointment for an MRI… on November 1!  Wonder how much more I will have improved by then.  I am so anxious to get back to normal.  Working, cooking, walking… the list goes on.

One Year Later

Posted in Cancer, End of Life, Musings with tags , , , , , , , on August 3, 2013 by madelincwolf

August 1 marked the date that my husband passed away last year.  I can’t believe that it has been that long.  I still miss him so much! It is getting easier  to think of him without getting really down.  In the days leading up to the first, I did have some flashbacks.  Mostly, though I remember the good things that we shared.  I suppose that this next year will be easier still.

On another note, I am getting back into my  studio working on client projects once again.  Having my own brush with a little bit of cancer has galvanized my desire to give my art a greater part in my life.  I believe that it is possible to do both my business and my art. That is the plan anyway.

I am so seriously behind on my weekly words it’s not funny.  Hope to catch up with that soon.

Right now, I have some back trouble that needs to be resolved for me to be fully engaged in my life.  I just hope that it won’t be something that is chronic and unfixable.  That would really be a bummer.  So, that’s it for now… time to ice.

WORD Week 18

Posted in 52 Weeks-52 Words, Cancer, health care, Musings with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 2, 2013 by madelincwolf

Another week has gone by.  I have an appointment next Wednesday with the Dr. who will perform my surgery and I am not looking forward to it.  My therapist told me that I need some distractions so that I won’t keep going to that dark place where I dwell on my fears and feel paralyzed.  I told him that TV was working somewhat.  He suggested that I do something more than that. Like walking, for one thing.  So, that’s the word this week: DISTRACTION.

My first instinct is to say that I must face this head on and not put my head in the sand.  Perhaps that would work well for someone who does not worry about everything in the world that could go wrong when it comes to any disagreeable situation one has to face.  Therein lies the dilemma. Will the information I find fuel my fears or defuse them?  I want to find out everything there is to know about this operation; I watched a couple of You Tube videos and surprisingly, that calmed me a bit. The operation using the da Vinci machine seemed to proceed better than the regular laparoscopic surgery.  Of course it all depends on the skill of the Dr.  I will have many questions.

As far as DISTRACTION goes, last month I participated in NaNoWriMo’s set-your-own-word-count, write-what-you-want extravaganza.  I made my 10,0000 words and got my certificate.  I also have just about finished my 3′ x 3′ quilt for the Annual  Berkeley Public Library Quilt Show which starts on May 8, coincidentally.  I have been trying and buying new hot sauces at Heat Hot Sauce Shop here in Berkeley: ( ).   I love hot food!  While I am on this food thing, I distract myself at the Berkeley Farmer’s Market stopping by Flacos Tacos( most Saturdays for their  Banana Leaf Tamal with hot sauce, of course.  It is such a wonderful combination of flavors and is vegetarian, although you wouldn’t know it.  Wow, I guess I am pretty good at DISTRACTIONalready!  Who knew?

WORD Week 17

Posted in 52 Weeks-52 Words, health care, Musings with tags , , , , , on April 22, 2013 by madelincwolf

A bit early this week!  Well, chalk that up to being home instead of in my studio.  I have tailored my most of my words to what is happening in my life so why stop now?  This weeks word is KNOWING.  All of us who have lived awhile know certain things.  We have experience, sometimes even wisdom.  Having knowledge is different than knowing.  Knowing comes from the gut or the heart, knowledge from the brain.  So what is this all leading up to?  I had a gut feeling and even knew in my heart that my report ( a preliminary report to be finalized later today) would not be good.  It isn’t devastating news, yet.  However, I will need an operation to prevent worse things happening.  So, today, I am home, processing what I was told and what I am facing.  I know that my family and friends will be supportive.  That is all I can ask for, oh, and a good outcome, of course, not to mention that I would like to win Powerball as long as I’m asking for stuff here!  If I don’t keep my humor, what do I have?

Word Week 16

Posted in 52 Weeks-52 Words, Musings, The Word with tags , , , , , , , on April 20, 2013 by madelincwolf

It’s almost next week, so I am just squeaking in under the wire with a new word.  The word is WAITING.  I am waiting again for results.  I have an appointment on Monday that will, hopefully , tell me that everything is OK.  I had not heard anything about the test earlier, which the Dr. said would be “bad news, ” and I am paraphrasing here.  So, my questions is, why make me wait for the good news and couldn’t we talk on the phone instead of my taking the time to meet with the Dr.?  Whatever.  I have not heard anything, so that’s good, right?  I am waiting to get back to the business of living instead of holding my breath.  My work has been affected, my mental state has been affected and I am tired of feeling like I am in a quagmire.  I am hoping that my next post will contain a positively wonderful word!

Word Weeks 14 and15

Posted in 52 Weeks-52 Words, Musings, The Word with tags , , , , , , on April 13, 2013 by madelincwolf

I have been remiss in getting my weekly posts out!  I have had some medical issues to address.  So, my words are are FEARFULNESS  and BEAUTY.

I was struck by how much fear I have that my test results will not be good.  I try to stay positive, which is very hard for me to do.  Having gone through my husband’s struggle with cancer so recently, I am angry that I have to have the c-word shoved in my face again so soon.  I want to banish any thought of having this rest on my doorstep.  In two weeks I will find out.  If I hear sooner, the news won’t be so good.  Guess I will have to reach down into that reservoir that sustained me to tap the waters of perseverance again.

There is a beautiful white iris growing in the strip between the sidewalk and the street a few houses up.  I saw and smelled it twice; once going and once coming back from my walk.  It smelled so sweet and glowed in the sunlight.  I felt it’s beauty overcome my downcast spirit.  I had a good walk.  It was a good day.  I have a lot to be thankful for.